As a mom of only boys, there are many things I hear ALL the time. Most of the time I find it funny – the comments are usually coming from people who don’t have children, don’t have ANY boys, or who don’t have multiple boys.
But yes, it can get annoying, especially when the comments turn stereotypical or insensitive (my recent Costco outing is ringing some bells….)
Maybe it’s because I don’t have anything to compare it to that makes me more sensitive towards these comments. Or maybe it makes people feel more entitled to MAKE these comments to me to begin with, knowing I have nothing to compare it to.
Either way, here are a few things I always hear with regard to having all boys:
(Just for the record, this is my slightly sarcastic silent response to these questions! Sometimes what I want to say, but don’t actually say. 🙂 )
Us boy-moms (or probably any mom with the same gender of children!) are all too familiar with any variation of the “you’re so lucky…” comments. You know the ones, when you really feel like the commenter could care less that “you’re so lucky” but are looking for any outlet to complain about their own children/spouse/financial issues/any other life situation?
“You are so lucky to have all boys, girls are SO much harder.”
I guess I will never know, so comparing might be pointless. But I do know one thing, there are plenty of things about boys that are “hard”. Such as their energy levels. They never stop moving. (Though I probably wouldn’t call it hard…just exhausting.)
“You are so lucky to have all boys, girls are SO much more expensive.”
Again, I guess I will never know. But I can tell you that having children in general definitely isn’t cheap.
The amount of money I have to spend on jeans to ensure they have at least one pair without holes is unheard of. Times that by 3 boys equals 3 times more ridiculous amounts of jeans! Same thing with shoes. I can’t keep a pair of decent looking shoes for any child in the house. They wear those puppies out fast!
So I’m here to tell you, girls or boys, kids in general are just plain expensive. Period.
“Were you hoping/trying for a girl?”
Honestly, I never know quite how to answer this question.
I think all women at some point have hoped to have a daughter of their own. But that doesn’t mean I’m sad that I have all boys. Quite the contrary – I love having boys!
And let me tell you, by the time you already have 3 boys, the chances of having a girl are slim to none. I knew that going in to having baby #4, and I was 100% perfectly okay with that. Our decision to have another baby had nothing to do with hoping for a girl, and everything to do with wanting four kids.
“Are you going to try for a girl?”
The status of whether or not my husband and I plan to try to conceive another child is rather personal, don’t you think?…but my husband says no. 🙂
“Well at least you won’t have to worry about them.”
Um. Actually, this couldn’t be more false. I’m pretty sure, last time I checked, I am still a mother. So yes, I’m positive worry does come along with that, regardless of having boys or girls. I may worry about them differently than I would if I’d had a girl. But then again, maybe not. There are many things that mothers worry about their children, no matter if they’re boys.
A few things are happening in my head when I hear these words…
- How presumptuous of you to assume I will not worry about my child, regardless of their gender.
- I am still a mother, and again, gender does not come into play with how a mother treats and/or feels about her child.
- Just because they’re boys doesn’t mean they’re any less worthy, or capable, of being worried over.
“At least you won’t have to worry about them dating.”
Please. Just stop. And see above.
Again, my children being boys literally has NOTHING to do with whether or not I’m going to worry about them. Period.
Dating, life in general, their safety – being that they’re not girls does not mean I automatically got a pass in the hoping-for-the-best-for-my-children department. I still want them to make good decisions, smart choices, and for them to have a good life outcome. Which equals a little worry for the mom-heart here.
So please just stop assuming that I don’t worry about my boys because they’re boys. It’s insensitive, and quite frankly, a little insulting.
“Wow, with all boys you must be exhausted.”
I am. Thanks for reminding me about my constant state of sleep deprivation. It’s a known fact that boys go non-stop, and that’s true with my boys as well. But I’m also pretty positive that a mom with all girls might be just as exhausted as I am.
Because being a mom is hard work in general, regardless of whether you have boys or girls. It might be a different kind of tired, but it also might be the exact same kind of tired.
The truth of the matter is, I really, really, truly, get these comments ALL the time. I would even go as far as to say at least once a day! So I know I am not the only one out there who isn’t immune to them. However I know the person saying them usually isn’t trying to be mean or rude. I know I’ve said some of these same things before, myself.
But now, knowing how some of these comments can bother me at times (and I’m sure completely unintentionally from the commenter) it definitely has me thinking twice before I throw what I perceive as a harmless comment in a mother’s direction!
Do you have all boys (or all girls)? What are some things you always hear?
Do you need structure and organization, but still crave daily encouragement?
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