Being a mom of all boys, I’d like to think I know a thing or two about them. I’m definitely no expert, and I don’t know a thing about teenagers (though who really does?). But it’s probably safe to say I’ve got you covered on all things little boys.
I’m writing this from my perspective and experience as a mom of all boys, with a little truth and a little humor. I love my boys with all my heart. Being a “boymom”, as I now affectionately refer to myself, I know that without a doubt my main purpose in life is to raise up three strong, Godly men.
So without further ado, here are a few things I’ve learned about little boys. And my guess is, if you have a little boy, you might know a little something about what I’m talking about.
1. Despite every effort to aim, that sweet little punkin’ pie will still pee directly on the floor.
With two “potty trained” (I use that term lightly because well, keep reading), and a one year old not far off, for boys this is downright a fact of life. And one I’ve pretty much come to accept by this point.
I walked into the bathroom the other day no less that five minutes after cleaning it, to notice a new puddle directly on the floor. RIGHT next to the pot, guys. From my perspective, you couldn’t have missed the toilet if you tried.
Well, apparently if you’re a little boy, you could.
I’m positive that the floor of their bathroom is now permanently urine-saturated. Sigh…I have now, for my own sanity and well-being, resigned myself to the fact that the truth is, their bathroom is always gonna stink.
2. The word “quiet” does not register with boys.
There is no such thing as “quiet”, “hush”, or my personal favorite, using their “inside voices”.
Boys have one decibel, and that is loud. And if baby is napping, I guarantee that decibel is now louder.
There’s just something about a boy knowing he has to be quiet that makes it nearly impossible for him to do so. Which brings me to…
3. Another word that’s not in his vocabulary – slow.
I hope you are fast, because that loud, pee-covered little boy will run everywhere. To the mail box, in the mall, picking up brother from school. If he can run, he will run.
He will also jump off anything and everything that is within his little strides’ reach.
Like his volume control, a boy has one speed; as-fast-as-he-can-possibly-move-his-little-legs. This oftentimes ends in trips and falls, scraped knees, wrecked bikes, and bonked heads.
Such is life with a boy.
4. Everything will become a “weapon”.
It doesn’t matter whether you believe it’s right or wrong, whether you have toy guns or swords or not. He will turn anything and everything into some type of weapon to fight off the latest bad guy.
I promise it’s okay.
It doesn’t mean he’s going to grow up to turn into some violent sociopath. Not at all. It’s just part of who little boys are.
And for heaven’s sake, let the poor guy defend his family and his honor with the kitchen ladle.
5. Their bedroom will always have that sweaty, little boy smell.
No matter how often you do the laundry, wash their sheets, clean, dust, vacuum. I tell you this from experience: you might as well just stop. For the love of Pete, drop the Windex. It’s not helping.
Less than five minutes of those little stinkers (pun intended) back in their room, all your hard work will be for naught.
I kinda like that little boy smell, anyway…
6. They become master mediators, epically maneuvering the most difficult of hostage negotiations.
Otherwise known as, can I have one more cookie before dinner.
Or stay up five minutes longer.
Or two more minutes on the iPad.
Maybe it’s just my sweet boys, but they simply refuse to take no for an answer. Someday, as a driven, hard-working head of the household, this may serve them well. But right now it just wears this mama down and out.
Am I right??
7. No matter how much you emphasize manners, they will still think farts are funny.
Sorry to break it to ya, but this one’s another one you’re just going to have to accept. The fact of the matter is, they’re boys. And there’s just something in their DNA that demands they laugh at any and all fart sounds, references, or any other potty-related language.
I will admit, coming from a house of all girls (my poor dad…), this one was a bit harder for me to swallow. I can’t tell you how many times my boys have been told to please, for the sake of my sanity, STOP the potty talk! As I held my precious firstborn as an infant, I swore up and down he would never be one of “those boys”.
I’m here to tell you, I didn’t have much say in that matter.
And now…well I hate to say it, but I’ve been known to giggle a time or two at a fart sound.
8. They are fiercely protective.
Don’t you dare get in between a boy and his brother. Or a boy and his mama.
Ever since my third son was born a year ago, it has been the sweetest, most heartwarming thing to watch the two older brothers interact with their baby brother. They are so. darn. protective of him. They’re so sweet, so gentle, so nurturing. They will do anything and everything to make sure he stays safe, including helping pick up any small toys around him (choking hazard!), being his spotter while he wobbles to a standing position, or even feeding him small pieces of food that I’ve cut up for him.
They are just as protective towards me, as their mama. In one of the few times their Dad and I have had a minor “argument” in front of them, I’m talking taking out the garbage or something equally as petty, it is not at all uncommon to watch my boys immediately and without hesitation stand up for me and take my side.
If they feel that their mama is at all threatened (which I’m not, but to them this is a moral issue), I believe it’s in a boy’s protective nature to protect their mother, any way they know how.
Whether that’s killing a spider for me (my 7 year old now does this on the reg.), sticking up for me, or even helping me “parent” the younger siblings. I’ve watched it with my own eyes.
Every time my jaw drops to the floor.
And my heart breaks into a million pieces.
9. They love unconditionally.
Without any games played. Without any strings attached. Without expecting anything in return.
No matter how crappy of a mom I’ve been. If it’s been a rough morning, if I’ve been snapping and rushing and have a million other stresses and things on my mind. I’ll ask God first, and then my boys for forgiveness…can mama have a do-over? Without a second’s hesitation they’re in my arms giving me the biggest and best bear hug around.
If a little boy loves you, he will give 100% of his heart to you, 100% of the time. No questions asked.
And that may very well be the best part.
While some of a little boy’s habits can leave you wondering where you went wrong, there are so many of their characteristics that make it all a million times worth it.
Being a mom to all boys has been the biggest thrill of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.
If you are a mom to boys, is there anything you would add to my list?
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