Why is it that sometimes we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone?
Maybe it’s not gone-gone. Maybe it’s just changed. Maybe something’s different now and won’t ever be the same again. Maybe it’s not a bad thing, but it’s a different thing. Maybe you miss the old thing just a little bit. That’s okay, too.
This past weekend I experienced one of those things. My little sister got married.
My sister is my best friend. We are very close in age at just 20 months apart, and we’ve always been close growing up. Sure, as kids we had the typical sisterly fights, but that’s all they were. We included each other in almost everything every day.
I had a few best friends in my day, but no one compared to my sister. As teenagers, she often tagged along with me and my friends, and happily so from both sides. To this day she is the person I trust and confide in the most, aside from my husband. She is the first person I told when I found out I was pregnant, all three (now four!) times. When I dealt with an eating disorder, she is the first person who knew. She knows my deepest fears and strongest anxieties. She knows my biggest dreams. She’s my best friend.
After her wedding, the impending inevitable change in our closeness that will come from her becoming a wife hit me with an endless tidal wave of emotion.
I couldn’t be happier for her and her new husband (whom we absolutely adore). I’m incredibly beyond happy that she found such a great guy who simultaneously loves the Lord and adores her as much as she deserves. That’s not what this is about by any means.
It’s just change. It’s different.
It got me thinking how sometimes something dramatic needs to happen for us to see the blessing that it was.
Not that my sister is going anywhere. But our relationship will be different now. However subtle, for two people so close it will still be dramatically felt.
It has me thinking about other areas of my life. Maybe I don’t need to wait for the drama to ensue for me to appreciate what I currently have. Maybe I can take stock of my situation right now and appreciate it for all that it is. Before the inevitable change that is life comes back around to once again rock my world. Maybe I need to proactively make an attitude adjustment.
What is it for you?
Is it the less-than-fulfilling state of your marriage? Is it an infant going through what feels like endless, sleepless nights? Dealing with a toddler’s difficult stage? Or an impossible teenager? Is it a demanding career with no end in sight? Is it unemployment? A challenging financial time?
What if you lost it all?
Okay, maybe that’s a little overdramatic. But just think about it. What if you did? I bet your perspective on those challenges would look a little different.
For me and my sister, I didn’t fully appreciate our closeness until something dramatically changed it. I can look back with fondness at our trusted relationship. Of course she’ll still be my best friend. But it will be different now. She has someone else to put first, and rightly so.
Change can still be hard. Even when it’s good.
So today, I’m reflecting on the things in my life with a new lens. I want to cherish every minute now. I want to soak up every second with my kids and appreciate my husband for all that he does, even when it feels like I have nothing left to give. I want to embrace our small house, messy tight quarters and all, because someday I’ll nostalgically look back and miss its simplicity. I want to live in this moment, because we’re not guaranteed the next.
Sister, I will miss our sleepovers of drinking mojitos, watching Fixer Upper, and waking to the boys hog-piled on you the next morning. I will miss our constant stream of Starbucks runs or McDonald’s iced vanilla coffees. I will miss our late night phone conversations to keep you awake on your endless drive home in the middle of nowhere. But no matter how much changes, you will always be my best friend. You will always be my sister.
So what is it for you?
Do you need structure and organization, but still crave daily encouragement?
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