Dear Mom who struggles to trust God with her children,
Being a mom can be so bittersweet, can’t it? It’s an emotional roller coaster, a topsy-turvey ride, filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
It’s our life’s purpose to take care of our babies any and every way we know how.
Dear mom who knows that you need to trust God with the most precious pieces of your heart, but you don’t quite know how.
How to fully let go….
How to hand it over to God…
And maybe, if we’re completely honest, not really wanting to.
Many times the reason we struggle to allow God to fully take hold of our children is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear over the what-ifs. As if by wildly grasping for some sort of control we can dictate our children’s circumstances. As if by allowing fear to rule, we think we are productively doing something.
When in reality, fear is the very opposite of productivity. It accomplishes nothing. Fear leaves you worse off than how it found you. And maybe the very reason we’re feeling this fear in the first place is because we’re not allowing God to fully take the wheel.
The constant worry, the nagging fear, the sleepless anxiety…those are burdens God never intended for us to carry.
But the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
I’m using this fear-control to fill the God-sized hole in my heart that only He can fill.
Dear Mom who’s holding on to her children so fiercely…pushing back against God to keep her babies in her grasp, unwilling to fully surrender everything to God, especially what is most precious to her heart – her children…by not letting go, you are not letting God.
I know that it’s tough. I know that you’re children are extensions of your heart – as if you have pieces of your own body walking around outside of you, making their own choices and decisions, dealing with their own pain and mistakes. Then we feel that pain, too…and it hurts a million times worse.
Like an extension of our own body, we try to control them and their circumstances.
But that’s not God’s design.
See, motherhood is the continual, bittersweet process of letting go.
We are to raise our children to be strong and independent, to make their own decisions. And when those decisions are good – to reap the benefits. When they’re not so good – to suffer the consequences.
How else will they learn?
Dear Mom who is struggling to hand her children over to God…do you trust that God is who He says he is? Do you believe that He wants the best for your children?
Do you know, Dear Mom whose heart is ripping in two, that He has an even greater plan for your children than you can ever fathom?
Do you believe that He loves them even more than YOU do? That they belong to Him first?
Dear Mom… I know your struggle. Because this is my struggle, too.
Dear Mom, I am you.
I am this mother who frets and worries over my children – what if something happens to them? What if they don’t turn out like I want them to? What if they choose the wrong path? What if, what if, WHAT IF???
It can eat me alive and tear at my soul.
So when I am in the thick of it – this struggle to surrender my all, my children, to God – here are few things that help…
1. I visualize “letting go”
I learned this when I was in counseling several years back, and it is SO effective.
I learned to visualize physically handing something over to God. In this case, it would be our children.
Close your eyes and picture that you are setting a basket at God’s feet. Then visualize placing each of your children in the basket. Hand the basket over to God, and watch Him scoop the basket up and cradle it in His arms.
This can be done with anything you might be anxious over. I find I do this exercise in a variety of situations in my life. But it is especially useful when I am struggling to hand my children over to Him. It helps immensely to put an action to the idea of surrendering.
2. I talk to my husband.
I’ve learned to talk to my husband about everything.
Sometimes it can be annoying (to him and me). And yes, it is not always easy or fun to do all the time. But I’ve realized if I verbalize my fears, it a) makes them seem not so scary – sometimes even silly. And b) it opens up that line of vulnerable communication between us, and helps him to understand me better.
There’s a reason why God put that man in my life. My husband always knows the right thing to say when I’m feeling anxious and worried over my children. He has a way of easily putting life in perspective, and calming my most irrational – or even rational – fears.
I bet you would find that your husband can easily do the same.
3. I pray. A lot.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks is all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)
I pray without ceasing. I never stop praying. If I’m not talking, there’s a good chance I’m silently saying a quick prayer. I pray constantly throughout the day, especially for my children.
I pray that God will pray circles of protection around them. I pray for their futures. I pray for the hearts. I pray for their future wives. I pray that they will make good friends and smart decisions.
When I am at my most anxious is when I know I must get on my knees and pray like never before. Prayer is the absolute best answer and only real solution to handing God the reins of your children’s lives.
If you have a hard time doing this – like most of us moms do – take heart in knowing that He is worthy of your full trust. Pray and ask God to make it effortless for you to hand Him everything. Pray for Him to show you how.
Dear Mom, true peace comes when we surrender all to God. Including – especially – our children. Allow God to take your child’s hand and watch Him walk alongside you both.
Then take a deep breath and feel His gentle presence – His graceful peace – wash over you like waves washing over the sand.
And let go.
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